Ira Gray translated [tw rape, rape apologism, ableism, misogyny] Hold up people...
“I check in to the point of annoyance” = I coerce people by pestering them constantly after they’ve said no
“There is no such thing as 100% good consent” = I don’t believe there is such a thing as 100% good consent because I’ve never practiced it with my partners and I refuse to believe that my sexual practices are predatory as fuck, so I’m just going to normalize my non-consensual activities
“They asked me for guidance with chronological lying and asked me not to tell anyone” = I have no problem using confidential information about a former partner’s mental health and anxiety issues against them despite the fact that they asked me not to share that information with anyone.
“I don’t always have he best emotional response when someone tells me to stop” = I react to being told “no” and “stop” with emotional abuse and coercion.
“I sometimes forget to ask before doing certain things.” = I skirt accountability for my sexual assaults by minimizing the full nature and impact of my actions, reducing my rapes to “forgetting” to ask before doing “certain things”.
“I don’t want this to turn into a smear campaign, because it’s not about that.” = I absolutely want to turn this into a smear campaign, otherwise I wouldn’t bother denying that I wanted to turn this into a smear campaign before revealing private, personal information about my victims.
“Originally, we came to the conclusion that good consent wasn’t being practiced by either of us and resulted in both of us feeling violated.” = They told me that I violated their boundaries and sexually assaulted them long before taking their stories public, but I dismissed this under the guise of “mutual abuse”.
“The other person and I had a conversation earlier on in our relationship. It was about my depression, their depression, and how they interact or may interact.” = I use my partners’ mental health issues against them (again).
” I miscommunicated that and it came out really misogynistic despite my intention” = I am a misogynist.
“I will always perpetuate misogyny despite my best efforts” = I am anunrepentant misogynist.
“they said there were things they could have done differently” = I use/d their very common, natural survivors-guilt/self-blame response against them in order to absolve myself of responsibility for my rape(s).
“I acknowledged that I don’t always practice the best consent” = I am a rapist.
“if I say I’m not a rapist, then I’ll be an apologist” followed by “I am not a rapist” = I am a rapist and a rape apologist.
“I will perpetuate rape culture and have done so despite my beliefs and efforts. I don’t expect or desire to be absolved of these things” = “I am an unrepentantrapist and rape apologist.
Conclusion: Literally every thing Ira Gray says is a huge red flag, to the point where if you ever hear anyone else saying things like this, you should probably run far, far away from them.
Maybe it’s because I’m friends with Ira and actually know him, but this is kinda ridiculous, taking things out of contexts, adding our own skewed opinions after… Are we in kindergarten? lol I love the kid, he has done amazing things for the community, what have YOU done? belittle other people for their faults. Stupid Tumblr…I did NOT want to find shit like this floating around. Good day.
Thank you so much for your touching defense of a self-confessed rapist scumbag. The fact that you consider serial rape to be a minor “fault” for someone to be “belittled” over makes you fucking awful person.
Hey look it’s another fucking apologist
Great post; awful apologism; great replies.
