Showing posts tagged ira gray

raverdad:

in the case of ira gray, what happened to innocent until proven guilty?

i realize that in order to deny and combat rape culture in our society, we have been taught to always believe the victims. i am not trying to say they are lying, i am not trying to say he did nothing wrong. i would like to remain neutral on this subject until there are more facts/evidence presented. 

i just want to know how, if nobody wants to take legal action regarding this matter, anybody will ever know the truth. it is literally a case of he said-she said on both sides right now and i don’t find ostracizing him from the only community he knows based on something with no evidence to back it up, to be fair. 

So, in the numerous cases (i.e., vast majority of them) where legal charges and conviction are not a realistic option, this means that everyone is obligated to treat the accused rapist exactly as if no accusation had ever been leveled? No one is allowed to decide that this person is not the right choice to represent their group or cause? No one is allowed to decide if they feel unsafe? No one is allowed to offer support or comfort to the survivors in a public place, or place that might reflect poorly on the never-proven-but-accused?

Sorry, no. “Innocent until proven guilty” is like “freedom of speech”. It’s a legal concept. It’s an important legal concept. It’s got no bearing on interpersonal interaction, though. It doesn’t trump other rights, like, say… freedom of association. Or that freedom of speech I just mentioned.

“Innocent until proven guilty” means that we don’t stand for our government grabbing Ira Gray for imprisonment or other punishment without due process. That’s all it means. It has nothing to do with what you or I or anyone else thinks about the situation, or what we say or do about it.

(Reblogged from )

Ira Gray translated [tw rape, rape apologism, ableism, misogyny] Hold up people...

blackenedbutterfly:

freedominwickedness:

kayleereneebothom:

missvoltairine:

“I check in to the point of annoyance” = I coerce people by pestering them constantly after they’ve said no

“There is no such thing as 100% good consent” = I don’t believe there is such a thing as 100% good consent because I’ve never practiced it with my partners and I refuse to believe that my sexual practices are predatory as fuck, so I’m just going to normalize my non-consensual activities

“They asked me for guidance with chronological lying and asked me not to tell anyone” = I have no problem using confidential information about a former partner’s mental health and anxiety issues against them despite the fact that they asked me not to share that information with anyone.

“I don’t always have he best emotional response when someone tells me to stop” = I react to being told “no” and “stop” with emotional abuse and coercion.

“I sometimes forget to ask before doing certain things.” = I skirt accountability for my sexual assaults by minimizing the full nature and impact of my actions, reducing my rapes to “forgetting” to ask before doing “certain things”.

“I don’t want this to turn into a smear campaign, because it’s not about that.” = I absolutely want to turn this into a smear campaign, otherwise I wouldn’t bother denying that I wanted to turn this into a smear campaign before revealing private, personal information about my victims.

“Originally, we came to the conclusion that good consent wasn’t being practiced by either of us and resulted in both of us feeling violated.” = They told me that I violated their boundaries and sexually assaulted them long before taking their stories public, but I dismissed this under the guise of “mutual abuse”.

“The other person and I had a conversation earlier on in our relationship. It was about my depression, their depression, and how they interact or may interact.” = I use my partners’ mental health issues against them (again).

” I miscommunicated that and it came out really misogynistic despite my intention” = I am a misogynist.

“I will always perpetuate misogyny despite my best efforts” = I am anunrepentant misogynist.

“they said there were things they could have done differently” = I use/d their very common, natural survivors-guilt/self-blame response against them in order to absolve myself of responsibility for my rape(s).

“I acknowledged that I don’t always practice the best consent” = I am a rapist.

“if I say I’m not a rapist, then I’ll be an apologist” followed by “I am not a rapist” = I am a rapist and a rape apologist.

“I will perpetuate rape culture and have done so despite my beliefs and efforts. I don’t expect or desire to be absolved of these things” = “I am an unrepentantrapist and rape apologist.

Conclusion: Literally every thing Ira Gray says is a huge red flag, to the point where if you ever hear anyone else saying things like this, you should probably run far, far away from them.

Maybe it’s because I’m friends with Ira and actually know him, but this is kinda ridiculous, taking things out of contexts, adding our own skewed opinions after… Are we in kindergarten? lol I love the kid, he has done amazing things for the community, what have YOU done? belittle other people for their faults. Stupid Tumblr…I did NOT want to find shit like this floating around.  Good day. 

Thank you so much for your touching defense of a self-confessed rapist scumbag. The fact that you consider serial rape to be a minor “fault” for someone to be “belittled” over makes you fucking awful person.

Hey look it’s another fucking apologist

Great post; awful apologism; great replies.

(Reblogged from blackenedbutterfly-deactivated2)